How many foster kids grow up and end up having a relationship with their birth parents?

I can't help but wonder... When people who actually care think of older foster children/ teens, they think about the children's need for a forever family, one to come home to and visit on the holidays when they are grown... But how many of them grow up to have normal or almost normal relationships with their birth families?





Personal experience answers or credible links/ sources preferred. Thanks, and God bless.How many foster kids grow up and end up having a relationship with their birth parents?
I think my kids will, but it will be quite different. THere is a bond there, no doubt, but the kids will have hard questions about their treatment. It is my hope that the First mom cleans up, and is able to be a role model for them when they are older.





If that works out, my kids will have both their moms in their lives, and hopefully both will be positive for them at that time. We hvae worked hard to let the kids knw they can talk about her any time and that missing her does not mean they dont' love us, so they feel comfortable with the idea of loving us all.How many foster kids grow up and end up having a relationship with their birth parents?
I have no links or sources at all, but as far as personal experience:





One of my friends and her sister were removed from their parents. She was 3 or 4, her sister was 7 or 8. Towards the end of high school, she left her adoptive parents to live with her mom again. Her sister stayed with their adoptive parents and still wants nothing to do with any of her biological family members. I asked her sister about this awhile ago, and she thinks its because she can remember a lot more of the abuse and other f-ed up situations involved in living with their parents, while my friend can barely remember anything.





Additionally, another one of my friends and her brother were removed and grew up in the system, and both of them still consider their last foster family to be their family and want nothing to do with their bio-parents. Again in that situation, there was a lot of abuse and neglect and both of them were old enough to remember a lot of bad things.
My daughter and I have been in reunion for over 9 years. She still is very much a part of her family, she just has more of them now. I met her parents this past January, it put to rest all the threats and demons that lurked around our reunion, but ours was not a foster care situation. It was a closed adoption of an infant.
A mutual friend of me and my husband did return to living with his parents after being released from foster care. He ended up living with an aunt and uncle while in foster care and their care was worse than his parents. As soon as he was able to get a job and save money while living with his parents, he moved out on his own, rooming with one of my brothers. Unfortunately, drugs were the ruin of his family. It is great to see him breaking the cycle in his family. But returning to his parents was by no means a normal thing, nor was it a normal relationship. It just happened to be a little better living environment.





My husband was also the product of foster care, being adopted out of the system at age 14. He left his adoptive family immediately, as he was only there so the mom could enjoy the extra check. (She has many children in her care, receiving stipends and food stamps for each of them.) As soon as the checks did not come anymore, she charged him rent, even though he was still in high school. (I was unfortunately there for that argument) He does not know his biological parents and he does not visit any of his foster families.





ETA: I forgot to add another personal story. My babysitter's biological daughter never returned home after leaving the system. She also testified against her mother for her younger siblings. If I had known about it at the time, I would have helped her. She was taken away at an older age. She is about a year younger than me. I do not know about the other children, except one who is still in the mothers care as he was favored by her.





I know a foster mother from my old church who often fostered younger children. I may ask her about this when I see her again. Although it is sad for her, she does not like letting go very much. She eventually adopted from the system, I do not know if she still opens her home to other children or not though.
I think it depends on the situation and the age the child is removed.





If children are removed under the age of 10, most do not return to their bio-parents, because they have more time in the system and with foster parents than with their bio-parents. Once TPR occurs, there is no continuation of connection between child and parent.





If children are removed as teens, as soon as they age-out, they tend to return to their bio-parents.





The other issue that is important is the level of abuse. Children who experienced severe trauma will not return home and in fact, I work with several adults who changed their names at 18 to sever all contact with the thought of bio-parents.





The less severe the abuse/neglect, the more likely a child is to search for their bio-parents.





But remember, this question is EXTREMELY complicated and has to do with the feelings that the child harbors regarding themselves as well as their bio-parents. It is not a simple black and white answer and most studies do not know because they don't track foster children after they are kicked out of the system. But what we have found through a few studies is that within 2-4 years of aging out: 25-35% wind up homeless, 40-50% are on public assistance and over 50% are unemployed. Most are not going home...in fact they have NO WHERE to go.





The truth is, MOST foster children that have aged-out NEVER have any ';normal'; relationship with their bio-parents. It was not normal to begin with and thus, it can never be ';normal.';